Jersey Shore goes to Miami

The Jersey Shore crew are back on MTV for a second series this Sunday, with The Situation, Pauly D, Snooki, J-Woww and friends moving to Miami’s South Beach.

The first episode begins with the four boys and four girls making their way to Florida. As the old friends eventually reunite in the house, it’s obvious they’ll be up to their old trashy ways yet again. But, this is reality TV – there has to be a twist. And this series, it comes in the form of returning (and much-maligned) housemate, Angelina. Cue tension and death stares from the girls and uncomfortable smiles from the boys. What’s more, Ronnie and Sammi have split up and now have to live in the apartment together. Talk about awkward!

Their first night of partying remains true to Jersey Shore style. The ever-hilarious Snooki has stopped using sunbeds since Obama introduced a 10% tax on tanning. So it’s on with the spray-tan and the usual mini miniskirts. The boys are pumping iron and fists. Snooki has a ‘life-changing experience’ when she eats fried pickles. It’s just like old times.

Then, off they head – destination Ocean Drive. Will they start off with a quiet one and build up as the season progresses? Will they hell! The girls have a massive bust up with Angelina in the taxi before they even reach the club. The alcohol hasn’t even started flowing yet, girls! Talking of which, Ronnie consumes plenty, and lashes out at his ex. A free and single man now, Ronnie goes on to party the night away with the girls of Miami.

As the first episode draws to a close, you’re left wondering what more this lot could possibly have in store for the rest of the series. But this is Jersey Shore, you won’t ever be disappointed.

The Hard Times of RJ Berger

So what’s MTV’s The Hard Times of RJ Berger all about? Put it this way, the double entendre in the title says it all. It does exactly what it says on the tin; it’s a comedy about an American Pie-style geeky virgin and his daily woes. The loser is the new hero. Unbelievably, Michael Cera is nowhere to be seen in this, but Paul Iacono fits the role just fine. Wank jokes? Check. Unattainable hot blonde? Check. It’ll never come close to The Inbetweeners, and it’s all been done before but, hey, it’s still an acceptable half-hour of easy laughs. Check it out on MTV this Sunday at 10pm.

Neighbours moves to Channel Eleven

The soap may suggest everybody needs good neighbours, but the Australian TV-viewing public don’t seem to agree. Ratings for long-running soap opera Neighbours have been dwindling for a while now. Just as it approached its 6000th episode, viewing figures were a measly 600,000 on Australia’s Channel Ten. Even in the UK, ratings aren’t like what they used to be in the glory days of Scott and Charlene; hence the move from the BBC to Five. Now, Aussie broadcasters are hanging onto it by the skin of its teeth by moving it to new digital channel, Eleven. Flogging a dead horse or clever strategic move? 25 years on, maybe now it’s time for us to finally pack up and say goodbye to our Neighbours.

Congratulations to Jools Holland. His ‘Later…With’ show will rack up 250 episodes this month when it returns to the BBC on the 14th. The music programme has always been a credible showcase for both emerging and established music talent – very often exposing lesser-known, home-grown acts to a wider audience. To celebrate the milestone, BBC Two will broadcast a special, featuring a compilation of the best performances, chosen by famous music artists and fans of the show. ‘249 Not Out – Later…With Jools’s Golden Moments’ airs on BBC Two on September 11th. What are your favourite performances from the show over the years? I have too many – Muse, Adele, Alicia Keys, Green Day, Blondie – the list goes on. Here’s just one recent appearance from Kelis, doing a note-perfect, live version of ‘Acapella’. As much as we like music shows like The X Factor, nothing can beat programmes like these that focus on raw music and live performance:

Big Brother house is evacuated after floods

The end is nigh. Big Brother 11 ends on Tuesday and the cracks are well and truly beginning to show in the house, quite literally. The last 24 hours has seen friendships ended and a full-scale evacuation.

First, there was the massive bust-up between Corin and John James. The Australian’s logic was clearly left behind when he entered the house, because every time he gets in a fight his arguments simply don’t make any sense. He’s gone from loveable idiot, to tool, to an even bigger tool. Josie has finally realised this and sided with the only other female left in the house. Does this spell the end for the two love-birds? Watch out for the Aussie trying to break his own record for being the biggest tool in history tonight, when Rachael re-enters the house and falls victim to his woman-hating ways too.

All this drama was followed by flash-flooding, which caused water to pour into the house via the roof. (Who built the house, Bob the Builder?) All contestants had to be evacuated for the first time in Big Brother history. It was quite a dramatic 24 hours! Thankfully, they’re all back in the compound now after some industrial-style water suction took place!

Four people will be evicted tomorrow, leaving the final five to battle it out on Tuesday. Who do you think will win? Is Josie a given? Or will the antics of Sam Pepper win over the public? And who do you want to see re-enter the house and join the BB11 winner in Ultimate Big Brother?

True Blood's Anna Paquin, Stephen Moyer and Alexander Skarsgard on Rolling Stone cover

September’s Rolling Stone magazine features a ridiculously sexy cover. True Blood’s Anna Paquin, Stephen Moyer and Alexander Skarsgard are naked and splattered with blood. Vampire threesome, anyone? True Blood creator Alan Ball explains the concept behind the photo shoot: “Vampires create a hole in the neck where there wasn’t one before. It’s a de-virginization – breaking the hymen…vampires are sex.” Expect the magazine to fly off the shelves when it hits stores on September 2nd! Order your copy here, you know you want to! True Blood Series Three is expected to start on FX later this year.

Sky1 is the worst repeat offender

Doesn’t it get just slightly annoying when you tune into a channel and half of its schedule is repeats? Channel 4 daytime consists of endless Come Dine with Me repeats, E4 seems to be enjoying a lasting love affair with Friends and Sky1 basically airs the same shows EVERY DAY. So who are the repeat (ahem) offenders? According to our weekly listings, Sky1 shows a whopping 175 repeats out of its 191 programmes per week, which means 91% of its schedule is repeats. Unsurprisingly, BBC Three isn’t far behind, with 88% repeats. The broadcasters we should applaud for encouraging variation in their programming are BBC1 and ITV1. Helped by the fact that it broadcasts a fair few original dramas, as well as two weekly soaps, ITV1 comes out on top with just 18% repeats.

These are the percentage repeats for this week:

Sky1      91%
ITV3       89%
BBC3     88%
More4    88%
ITV4       78%
E4         77%
ITV2      75%
Five       66%
BBC2    56%
C4         43%
BBC1    28%
ITV1      18%

If it ain’t broke don’t fix it. And I’m pleased to say the writers of The Inbetweeners have stuck by this motto for the third series. Watching the trailer, it’s clear nothing has changed. The boys are still clueless, highly embarrassing losers. The humour is still toilet and crude. And we wouldn’t want it any other way! The Inbetweeners returns to E4 in September. Can’t wait!

Will Young stars in Living's Bedlam

Living TV is attempting to reposition itself as the home for ‘intelligent and glamorous entertainment’. Having previously been viewed as a ‘pink and paranormal’ channel, with favourites such as Next Top Model, Most Haunted and Dating in the Dark, it now wants to attract men as well as women.

Firstly, there’s the commission of its first-ever scripted comedy. Blenda Gilhooly stars as fictional Page Three model Gayle Tuesday, who is trying to revive her career in showbusiness. Harry Hill wrote the script and the pilot is expected to air in September.

Secondly, the broadcaster has made a foray into original scripted drama. Supernatural thriller, Bedlam, has been commissioned for broadcast later in the year. It is set in a haunted block of apartments that used to be an asylum. Pop star Will Young will star as a man investigating the death of his brother.

All this talk of original commissions and repositioning is all well and good, but it’s directly contradicted by the fact that Katie Price has just been paid an obscene amount of money to dump ITV2 for Living. She is expected to ‘reinvent’ herself on the channel in a new series from November. Katie Price – intelligent and glamorous? Let’s face it, sometimes a leopard just can’t change its spots.

Daniel Craig's Casino Royale to broadcast on ITV1 HD

James Bond fans, ITV is the place to be, as the broadcaster has just signed a deal with MGM Worldwide Television to air several Bond films in high definition. ITV1 HD will be broadcasting the free-to-air premiere of Quantum of Solace, plus classics such as Goldfinger, Dr. No, For Your Eyes Only, From Russia with Love, The Spy Who Loved Me and GoldenEye. Daniel Craig’s first outing as Bond, Casino Royale, will also be shown in HD. Women everywhere are squealing in delight at the thought of seeing *that* slow motion scene where Daniel comes out of the sea – in glorious high definition!