Superstar: I’ve Lost Faith
I thought I was alone in my disillusion with ITV1′s latest reality series Superstar. Then I realised the British public seem to agree, judging by the minimal ratings.
Admittedly, there have been some good performances so far. David, Roger, that bloke that didn’t get through on The Voice…erm…Nathan, they’ve got good voices. But none of them are going to get me rushing to Ticketmaster to buy tickets to the arena tour. At the end of the day, it’s yet another talent contest. We’ll happily sit through a two minute performance and decide if we liked them or not but whether that translates to ticket sales remains to be seen.
It’s this ambivalence that has got me through the first few episodes of this show. If I actually cared for the programme, I would be mildly offended by the borderline blasphemy that threads through the show. And I’m not even a Christian! How tiresome that the contestants await their fate on the ‘stairway to heaven’, and the eliminated singer is told by host Amanda Holden to ‘walk into the light’. *Groan*. In fact, Amanda’s got a whole load of ‘em: “Your Jesus needs you!” “Only the Lord can save them now!” (referring to Lord Andrew Lloyd-Webber). Barf!
Let me say, there is one and only one glimmer of hope for this programme. Dawn French. Lord Andrew bores us with his dad jokes – the one about Titanium and golf being a particular lowlight. Yes, Mel C and Jason Donovan provide great constructive criticism but they really are a little too serious, aren’t they?! Jason has that wide-eyed seriousness that he possessed (‘possessed’ being the operative word) when participating in Strictly Come Dancing. Mel C is understandably taking the whole thing incredibly seriously since she will be starring alongside the winner on tour. But Dawn – thanks Jesus! (Hey, if they can, I can too). She seems to have perspective, offering up useful advice whilst also injecting a pinch of salt with her quick wit. My favourite line so far: “I really hope you can still have babies after that performance”. The rest of the series will be viewed on fast-forward, pausing only to listen to Dawn’s feedback.
If you still care, Superstar continues every weekday on ITV1.